wishes.

journals that you just cant edit! not so conscious, but also in shape enough to me it so. confidence and self worth. definite purpose. meaning of love, life, death, being. ouch. trust. grows with the flow. creative direction. full heartednenss. security. mental stability. merit. worth. growth. conditions. a touch of divinity. fudge. 

i'd be dumb.

i need another. i always do. because there isn't enough glue to hold you through. "is spell check on?" "is it?" "i hope it is." "fuck." 

dont judge me on this. you might think im not as intelligent as i am. then what???

nothing every works the way you want it to though.

hate my body.

hate my mind.

hate this place.

hate this time.

love my mother.

love my brother.

love the feather.

love the wind.

love the love.

hate the love.

god damn fuck shit.

it all.

genetics.

its easy to look at those who speed and think, "i love to speed also," but at times i think do i really love to speed? do i love the idea of speeding? do i love the actual risk? the disregard for the consequences? if i'm already thinking this much about it, have i spoiled it too soon to experience it? i see people who -  on whatever surface, are risking so much...

i hate to think that i'm a different breed. because the hunters of the word are defintiely attractive beings, and although at times i may have teetered slightly along the lines of taking too much or not caring enough i think that predetermination plays too great a role in this life. it burns to think about it.

maybe i will sucumb. maybe i will lay here until all resources run out. maybe i will allow the weeds to overcome the nothingness of existence anyways, regardless of the nothingness to come in "better times." who cares any ways, right? 

we can only hope to rely on anyone outside ourselves. what will hope amount to anyways? nothing. nothing. nothing.

it burns some more. you are wasting away reading each le tt e r. what does it amount to in the end? you can keep on playing and being played. tinkering. thinking. meandering.

maybe care so little that a fuck becomes so animalistic that it is just a fuck, as always. or -  care so much, that you wouldn't dare. 

i think the place in the middle is so much more dangerous.

& supposedly coffee isn't good for you.

stevie blooms.

my best friend, whose path so intensely has interwoven with mine in the past, takes some very nice photos...


















http://flickr.com/photos/steviebloom/

http://steviebloom.blogspot.com/

HOLDING DOWN THE FORT!

welcome to daytona beach

many thanks to kim kuhn for the photos. i feel very strange about the past and my relation to it. what has already happened is gone and on another level i can't be sure that its "me" regardless.

the show's director was my high school art teacher. at a non profit that everyone sees and never notices in my home town, daytona beach, florida.

aileen wuornos, bikeweek, nascar, the "worlds most famous beach," and bcr/spring break. everyone knows art makes you gay.

i've stumbled past arthaus countless times after hanging out in ali's (pictured above,) garage. COMING OF AGE, racing, bbq, the beach, and sunny fl-a.

ps: after a mindless night in nsb a few weeks prior to this show (which was in october, before asia,) i attempted to use chalk for the first time in 4 cement sqs that i've trampled for 14 years. a company paid 5 grand and they got my psychadelic doodle. i worked for a day and a half and i got rain, free food, a sore body, and the peoples choice award which came with a check.



i'm at a strange point artistically, where i have abandoned a lot of my preconceptions. i am floating in a vast black sea of self doubt and exploration.

get slow,
dan d

some photos from laos

make sure to read the sign...


new years on the beach in thailand was ALL INCLUSIVE!!!

542 bainbridge, brooklyn ny

the other day i was leaving our new apartment and our super, named super offered to drive me the four or five blocks i was about to walk to our previous sublease.

upon entering his large burgundy van he poured some bicardi and lemon iced snappled into a stryrafome cup for one of his mexican roofers and the spirits of bushwick.

long story short. he got very very drunk while driving me all over the place for 7 hours rather than dropping me off. i ended up getting pretty drunk also, in addition to smoking one thousand cigarettes. he took me to his home and showed off his shower and clear toilet seat with quarters all around and a dollar bill in the middle. i poured myself another drink in his kitchen while he did bumps and then we hit the road again. he bought me mcdonalds, a pack of cigarettes and gave me a crisp 50 for hanging out with him all fucking day, before he dropped me off no where near where i wanted to end up.

i then took the g, walked to the j which never fucking comes, took the m and then finally got to the j.

walking down the platform i called to find out i got 97 bucks in food stamps. i spent over ten hours doing bullshit, waiting and getting bitched at for no reason in order to get them, so unless they keep putting money on there for a while - i suggest finding a fucking job and buying your own food instead.

i wish i had a camera, because i've never had so many cold vitamin water's. also - we are living in our new spot. a three br railroad bitch that is a dream cum thru.

hopefully a new camera and photos soon, as this girl named "sdot" stole everyone's shit from our sublease, including our camera and possibly a car.

Basket weaver's husband, five children were hacked and clubbed to death

I had a horrible dream last night that you got murdered be a phyco killer! I was crying and the cops were looking for the killer, I balamed myself. It was terrible.

I am sure its not an omen, but watch out anyways!

- aurel


my neighbor got mugged on shrooms on his birthday the other night a block from our new apartment (moving in today.) the combination of that incident, your dream and a recent account of murder nearby, i think i'll be staying perched up in my coop much more.

my actual experience out here has been far from the dark thoughts that have been placed in the back of my mind.

this alchy named 'g' who is always outside, and always drunk by breakfast loves hugging, buys me beer and pepsi, says me luv you, calls me a pure being and says i look like jesus from the movies. he said he'll miss me now that i'll be four blocks away. he created this insane bond over a delusion that i gave him forty cents. he cries a lot and said he's been drinking since age five. he's like a sweet puppy wandering the streets.

and so it goes.

dan d

distance to ny

498 mi – about 8 hours 16 mins

ps: wifi and nosepicking is better than crack.